TL;DR. Italian reflexive verbs split into three families: true reflexive (mi lavo), reciprocal (ci salutiamo), pronominal (mi arrabbio). Always essere as auxiliary in compound tenses with subject agreement. Modal verbs allow two pronoun positions (mi devo lavare = devo lavarmi).
Italian reflexive verbs (verbi riflessivi) are verbs whose action falls back on the subject. Italian splits them into three families. True reflexive: the subject and the object are the same person (mi lavo = I wash myself). Reciprocal: two or more subjects act on each other (ci salutiamo = we greet each other). Pronominal: the verb has a fossilised pronoun that no longer refers to a real reflexive action (arrabbiarsi = to get angry, annoiarsi = to get bored). All three families share the same six pronouns (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si) and the same compound-tense rule: always essere as the auxiliary, with the past participle agreeing in gender and number with the subject. This B1 guide covers all three families, the auxiliary rule, the modal verbs split (devo lavarmi vs mi devo lavare), pronoun placement with imperative, gerundio, and infinito, six traps, a Bologna gym dialogue, a cheat sheet, a collapsible mini-challenge, and a quiz.
Cosa impareremo oggi
👆🏻 Jump to section
- Three families: true, reciprocal, pronominal
- Reflexive pronouns and present-tense conjugation
- Compound tenses: always ESSERE + agreement
- With modal verbs: pronoun before or attached
- With imperative, gerundio, infinito
- Six traps for English speakers
- Cheat sheet
- Dialogue: Saturday at the Bologna gym
- Frequently asked questions
Three families: true, reciprocal, pronominal
True reflexive: action falls on the subject
The subject and the direct object are the same person. The verb describes something done to oneself: lavarsi (to wash oneself), vestirsi (to get dressed), pettinarsi (to comb one’s hair), truccarsi (to put on makeup), radersi (to shave). Most are linked to body care or daily routine.
🔍 Observe:
- La mattina mi lavo con l’acqua fredda. In the morning I wash myself with cold water.
- Lucia si trucca sempre prima di uscire. Lucia always puts on makeup before going out.
- Mio marito si rade ogni due giorni. My husband shaves every two days.
Reciprocal: two or more subjects act on each other
Plural pronouns ci, vi, si can carry a reciprocal meaning: each other, one another. Salutarsi, abbracciarsi, telefonarsi, scriversi, vedersi, conoscersi, sposarsi, lasciarsi. Context disambiguates with true reflexive: ci laviamo can mean we wash ourselves or we wash each other.
🔍 Observe:
- Marta e Stefano si telefonano ogni sera. Marta and Stefano phone each other every evening.
- Io e te ci scriviamo da quindici anni. You and I have been writing to each other for fifteen years.
- I miei nonni si sono conosciuti al matrimonio di un cugino. My grandparents met each other at a cousin’s wedding.
Pronominal: fossilised pronoun, idiomatic meaning
Some verbs carry a reflexive pronoun without a real reflexive action. The pronoun is locked into the verb’s identity. Arrabbiarsi (to get angry), annoiarsi (to get bored), divertirsi (to have fun), preoccuparsi (to worry), accorgersi (to realise), vergognarsi (to be ashamed), pentirsi (to regret). The non-reflexive form often does not exist or has a different meaning.
🔍 Observe:
- Mi sono divertito tantissimo alla festa di Beppe. I had a lot of fun at Beppe’s party.
- I bambini si annoiano a scuola se la lezione è troppo lunga. Children get bored at school if the lesson is too long.
- Non mi sono accorto dell’ora, scusami. I didn’t notice the time, sorry.
- Stefano si è arrabbiato per uno scherzo stupido. Stefano got angry over a silly joke.
🎯 Mini-Challenge: three families
- I get bored at school. (annoiarsi)
- We greet each other. (salutarsi)
Show answers
- Mi annoio a scuola.
- Ci salutiamo.
Reflexive pronouns and present-tense conjugation
| Subject | Pronoun | lavarsi | mettersi | divertirsi |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| io | mi | lavo | metto | diverto |
| tu | ti | lavi | metti | diverti |
| lui / lei | si | lava | mette | diverte |
| noi | ci | laviamo | mettiamo | divertiamo |
| voi | vi | lavate | mettete | divertite |
| loro | si | lavano | mettono | divertono |
Compound tenses: always ESSERE + agreement
All compound tenses of reflexive verbs use essere as the auxiliary. Always. The past participle agrees with the subject in gender and number. This applies to passato prossimo, trapassato prossimo, futuro anteriore, condizionale composto, congiuntivo passato, congiuntivo trapassato.
🔍 Observe agreement in gender and number:
- Stamattina mi sono svegliato tardi (masculine speaker). This morning I woke up late.
- Stamattina mi sono svegliata tardi (feminine speaker). This morning I woke up late.
- I bambini si sono divertiti al parco. The children had fun at the park.
- Le mie amiche si sono incontrate al bar. My friends met at the bar.
- Credo che Stefano si sia dimenticato dell’appuntamento. I think Stefano forgot the appointment.
🎯 Mini-Challenge: compound tenses
- This morning I (woman) woke up late.
- The kids had fun at the park.
Show answers
- Mi sono svegliata tardi.
- I bambini si sono divertiti al parco.
With modal verbs: pronoun before or attached
With dovere, potere, volere, sapere followed by a reflexive infinitive, the pronoun has two correct positions. Either before the modal (mi devo lavare) or attached to the infinitive (devo lavarmi). Both are accepted; native speakers use both interchangeably.
🔍 Two equivalent positions:
- Mi devo vestire = devo vestirmi. I have to get dressed.
- Non ti devi preoccupare = non devi preoccuparti. You don’t need to worry.
- Non mi voglio annoiare = non voglio annoiarmi. I don’t want to get bored.
The auxiliary trick in compound tenses: with modal + reflexive in passato prossimo, the auxiliary changes depending on the pronoun position. If the pronoun is BEFORE the modal, the auxiliary is essere and the participle agrees. If the pronoun is ATTACHED to the infinitive, the auxiliary is avere and there is no agreement.
🔍 Compare:
- Per il matrimonio, ci siamo dovuti vestire bene (pronoun first, essere). For the wedding, we had to dress up.
- Per il matrimonio, abbiamo dovuto vestirci bene (pronoun attached, avere). Same meaning.
- Stefano non si è voluto scusare per l’errore. = Stefano non ha voluto scusarsi per l’errore.
🎯 Mini-Challenge: modal + reflexive
- I have to get dressed (two forms).
- You don’t need to worry (two forms).
Show answers
- Mi devo vestire / Devo vestirmi.
- Non ti devi preoccupare / Non devi preoccuparti.
With imperative, gerundio, infinito
With informal imperative (tu, noi, voi), gerundio, and infinito, the reflexive pronoun attaches to the verb forming a single word. With formal imperative (Lei), the pronoun goes BEFORE the verb. See the Italian Imperative guide for the full picture.
🔍 Pronoun placement by mood:
- Imperativo tu: vestiti, è tardi. Imperativo Lei: si vesta, prego. Get dressed!
- Imperativo voi: comportatevi bene a scuola. Behave well at school.
- Gerundio: mi sono fatto male allenandomi in palestra. I hurt myself while training at the gym.
- Infinito semplice: prima di vestirti, lavati i denti. Before getting dressed, brush your teeth.
- Infinito composto: dopo esserti vestito, esci e chiudi la porta. After getting dressed, go out and close the door.
🎯 Mini-Challenge: with imperative/gerundio
- Get dressed! (informal)
- I hurt myself while training. (gerundio)
Show answers
- Vestiti!
- Mi sono fatto male allenandomi.
Six traps for English speakers
Trap 1: compound tenses always use ESSERE
Never avere. Mi sono lavato, never mi ho lavato. Even when the verb has avere as auxiliary in non-reflexive form (ho mangiato non-reflexive vs mi sono mangiato una pizza intera reflexive-emphatic).
Trap 2: past participle agrees with the subject
Feminine and plural forms must change. Mi sono svegliato (man speaking), mi sono svegliata (woman speaking), ci siamo svegliati (mixed group), ci siamo svegliate (women only).
Trap 3: pronominal verbs hide reflexive pronouns
Verbs like arrabbiarsi, annoiarsi, divertirsi are pronominal: the si is part of the verb’s identity, not a real reflexive action. You cannot drop it. Annoiarsi means to get bored; annoiare means to bore (someone else). They are different verbs.
Trap 4: modal + reflexive auxiliary depends on pronoun position
Pronoun before modal: essere + agreement (mi sono dovuto vestire). Pronoun attached to infinitive: avere, no agreement (ho dovuto vestirmi). Both correct, both common.
Trap 5: imperative formal uses Lei + pronoun BEFORE
Informal: siediti (attached). Formal: si sieda (separate, before). The same split applies to all reflexives: vestiti / si vesta, alzati / si alzi, divertiti / si diverta.
Trap 6: ci changes meaning
The pronoun ci can be reflexive (we, ourselves, each other) or locative (there). Ci laviamo = we wash ourselves. Ci vado = I go there. Context distinguishes.
🎯 Mini-Challenge: the six traps
- Auxiliary in compound tenses?
- Annoiarsi vs annoiare difference?
Show answers
- Always essere with subject agreement.
- Annoiarsi = to get bored (state); annoiare = to bore someone else (transitive).
Cheat sheet
| Family | Example | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| True reflexive | mi lavo | I wash myself |
| Reciprocal | ci salutiamo | we greet each other |
| Pronominal | mi arrabbio | I get angry |
| Compound | mi sono svegliato/a | I woke up (essere + agreement) |
| Modal + before | mi devo lavare | I have to wash myself |
| Modal + attached | devo lavarmi | same meaning |
| Imperative tu | vestiti! | get dressed! (informal) |
| Imperative Lei | si vesta! | get dressed! (formal) |
| Gerundio | allenandomi | training myself |
| Infinito | prima di vestirti | before getting dressed |
Dialogue: Saturday at the Bologna gym
Beppe and Lucia run into each other at the gym on a Saturday morning.
- 👨🏻🦱 Lucia, ciao! Non ci vediamo da una settimana. Lucia, hi! We haven’t seen each other for a week.
- 👩🏼🦰 Ciao Beppe. Mi sono allenata in piscina, qui solo il sabato. Hi Beppe. I trained at the pool, only on Saturdays here.
- 👨🏻🦱 Mi devo iscrivere anche al corso di yoga, ma non mi decido mai. I should sign up for the yoga course too, but I never make up my mind.
- 👩🏼🦰 Iscriviti oggi, le iscrizioni chiudono lunedì. Sign up today, registrations close on Monday.
- 👨🏻🦱 Hai ragione. Mi sono pentito di aver aspettato troppo l’anno scorso. You’re right. I regretted waiting too long last year.
- 👩🏼🦰 Allora andiamo al desk. Sbrigati, sono già le undici. Then let’s go to the desk. Hurry up, it’s already eleven.
- 👨🏻🦱 Mi cambio e arrivo subito, dammi due minuti. I’ll change and come right away, give me two minutes.
- 👩🏼🦰 Sbrigati davvero, dopo dobbiamo prendere un caffè e raccontarci tutto. Really hurry, afterwards we have to grab a coffee and catch up on everything.
Countdown Quiz
Verbi riflessivi
(20 minutes)
This quiz is designed to put some pressure on you and use your instinct.
20 minutes is more than enough time to complete it.
Do not let the time elapse! You will get ZERO points.
If you have an account with us, log in and get your score in your inbox.
Milano: A2/B1 group course on Zoom
Drill reflexive verbs in real conversations with weekly small-group lessons on Zoom.
Further reading: Treccani: verbi pronominali.
Milano: A2/B1 group course on Zoom
Take grammar from textbook to confident real conversation. Small live group lessons.
Frequently asked questions
What are the three families of italian reflexive verbs?
True reflexive (action falls on subject: mi lavo), reciprocal (subjects act on each other: ci salutiamo), and pronominal (fossilised pronoun without real reflexive action: arrabbiarsi, annoiarsi). All three families share the same six pronouns mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si and the same essere auxiliary in compound tenses with subject agreement.
Why do italian reflexives always use essere as auxiliary?
Because the action loops back to the subject, italian treats compound tenses of reflexives like motion verbs: with essere, and with the past participle agreeing in gender and number with the subject. Mi sono lavato (man), mi sono lavata (woman), ci siamo lavati (mixed group). The avere auxiliary is never used with reflexives.
Can I say mi devo lavare or do I have to say devo lavarmi?
Both are correct. With modal verbs (dovere, potere, volere, sapere) plus a reflexive infinitive, the pronoun has two valid positions: before the modal (mi devo lavare) or attached to the infinitive (devo lavarmi). Native speakers use both interchangeably.
What changes in the auxiliary with modal + reflexive in passato prossimo?
The pronoun position decides the auxiliary. Pronoun before the modal: essere with agreement (ci siamo dovuti vestire). Pronoun attached to the infinitive: avere with no agreement (abbiamo dovuto vestirci). Both sentences mean the same thing; the auxiliary just follows where the pronoun sits.
Is annoiarsi the same as annoiare?
No, they are two different verbs. Annoiarsi (pronominal, reflexive) means to get bored: il bambino si annoia a scuola. Annoiare (transitive) means to bore someone else: il film mi annoia (the film bores me). The pronominal version describes a state the subject enters; the transitive describes an action one person does to another.
How does the pronoun work with the imperative?
With informal imperative (tu, noi, voi) the reflexive pronoun attaches to the verb forming a single word: vestiti, alziamoci, comportatevi. With formal imperative (Lei) the pronoun goes before the verb and stays separate: si vesta, si sieda, si diverta. The split mirrors the imperativo diretto vs indiretto contrast.
Where does the reflexive pronoun go in the gerundio and infinito?
Always attached to the end of the verb. Gerundio semplice: allenandomi (training myself). Gerundio composto: essendomi preparato (having prepared myself). Infinito semplice: prima di vestirti (before getting dressed). Infinito composto: dopo esserti vestito (after getting dressed). The pronoun fuses with the verb form.
